Hemarroids, Hemaroids, Haemorroids

What can I do to help my friend with Colon Cancer?

He kept the truth about how sick he was to himself. He lost a tremendous amount of weight, we dismissed it as an ongoing flu. We didn't know that he was having trouble with BMs, bloody stool, etc. He would later say that it felt like he was setting on a golf ball. Turns out the doctors dismissed it as hemorrhoids, then finally suggested a colonoscopy. The truth, probably neglected because of no insurance.
He just had surgery Friday. They removed 18" of intestine, including a softball size mass. They found spots on his liver, may be spread to the lymph nodes. Chemotherapy in his future. He is 51. What can I do?

Don't be too fast to blame the doctors - colon cancer is hard to determine as the symptoms can be confused with other bowel conditions. It's relatively uncommon in the under 60 population which won't have helped the diagnosis process. Anyway, blaming the doctors won't help your friend.

Right now, you can keep him company in hospital. He might not want to chat, so take a newspaper and sit and read.

Stay in contact with him, try to do the small things to help (take out the trash when you visit, do the shopping "since you're going to the store anyway", cook lunch when you're there).

Bring him news of the world - films you've seen, things from work. It'll help distract him from his treatment.

Don't be afraid to talk about the cancer if he brings the topic up. Listen when he wants to talk, ask questions if he opens the opportunity....sometimes he'll be ready to talk, sometimes he'll want to pretend nothing's up.

Offer to go with him to the medical appointments - there'll be a lot to hear and take in. It's helpful to have another pair of ears to remember everything.

But of all this...just do what you can. Get other friends to help too. Every small thing is a real bonus when it's done out of friendship. Someone else will return the favour....though I hope in nicer circumstances.

Good luck to him, and stay strong.

Colonoscopy Advancements (NO SCOPE NEEDED)